Lately I've been, dare I say, happy.

I feel like I've grown up a lot, and like I'm really figuring out who I am. This is the first time that I've really been making friends and figuring out what I like on my own. I never realized how dependent I was on a relationship before. Of course, now that I don't want a relationship right now, here comes another one. I'm trying to avoid the actual relationship, but at this point it seems inevitable, and I'm not one to throw away something that could be wonderful.

I just wish that this had happened when I wasn't in school because I do feel like I'm neglecting my studies.

Closing thought: nobody posts anymore. have we all gotten too old?

I read through my entire journal yesterday. I used to update this thing all the time when I was at Berry. There was one day when I updated 3 times in a day. Now I've updated twice in a month and that's a lot. I think I might start writing more again. Of course this may be brought on by the fact that I have a severe case of senioritis and need any excuse to procrastinate. It was kind of nice to have all of these memories, though, of things that I had done. Of course, there were many times that I was absolutely embarrassed to think that I had written such moronic things. I guess you have to take the good with the bad, though. The things recorded here were me once, and even though sometimes I might have been a dumbass, it was all part of me. Being able to look back on it all is something that I might not ever have been able to do without this journal, so now I am bound and determined to actually write in it again so that 4 years from now I can laugh and cry and shake my head and wish that maybe I'd written more so that I had a few more memories.

It probably won't ever happen. I should get a real journal.

i broke up with him.

just thought you should know

it has been over a year since the last time i posted. not much is going on now either, but i just realized that my last post was very depressing, and thats just not my style so...

i have a tattoo now....most of you have already seen it and if you havent, i may post pictures at some point here. for those of you who didn't already know, the design is a moon and three stars. it is the same design as the one on my sister's gravestone, so getting this tattoo really meant a lot to me. i'll also probably get a sun (the other part of the design) on my lower back.

not much else to say, except...
-classes are going well. im really loving my sign language class and my pe for elementary teachers class (which i thought i would hate).
-my new apartment rocks!
-and last but definitely not least. i hope i can see les mis while its at the fox. money is tight but i really wanna go.

bye for another year!

"it won't fit"
"did you pull the thing out all the way"
"yeah...its too big for the hole"
"you know where it goes then? Between your legs!"
(jessica and i talking about a cup too big for her cup holder)

ok i have my first, and probably most important, exam in an hour. If i don't pass this i don't pass the class which means i dont go to uga which means im screwed. so of course, im not studying. i did for a little while...but i just cant focus on it. I keep on thinking about other thying...like where the fuck my boyfriend is. Chris is supposed to be leaving..um..now to come pick me up today, but i cant fucking find him anywhere. I tried calling his house millions of times, sending messages to his cell phone, and calling his cell phone repeatedly. I have the feeling he's at someone else house, asleep. I am beginning to get just a little bit pissed off or worried..cant decide which one. *sighs* i wish i could find him though.

on a better note....i had a great time in athens on wednesday! i ended up going to the jump, little children concert with jessica...that was great. it would have been better if a security guard wasnt hitting on jessica the whole time...that was so nasty. She told him about the boat accident she was in, and he took that as an invitation to touch her leg where she had gotten hurt. i was so disgusted. Jess and I did get free drinks at Firehouse before the show thanks to Nikki though, which was very nice...didnt do that much to me though.

anyway....im still wondering where the hell my boyfriend is...he needs to fucking call me or something

So I went out to my car yesterday to go get some gas, and it wouldn't start. I figured that the gas had run out while sitting there for a few days, so Jess and I go and get a gallon of gas. Come back....put it in my car...car starts...I rejoice...I stupidly turn off my car, thinking Jess wants to go inside for a sec before going to get a tankful of gas...try to turn it back on..won't crank....get another gallon of gas...put it in car....still won't work...figure we've flooded the engine and leave it alone til tomorrow

Tomorrow:
car starts! I go get food and then gas...car starts at gas station...yay! its fixed....go to start car before work...it wont fucking start...lots of cursing..so now im sitting at fucking berry waiting on my parents to come get me...

oh and im fucking hungry....i was going to go to Quiznos with some people..but megan took too long drying her hair, and apparently the dining hall closes at 7 on fridays

im probably failing psychology because I was sick 4 days instead of only 3....what a stupid attendance policy...i cant fucking help it that i was sick....3 days excused or unexcused and then your grade drops 10 points

oh and now how the fuck am i going to go to the ani show?? i was supposed to go pick up lin lin and drive to atlanta and drive us back to athens after and then go back to school the next day...now i have no fucking car...maybe ill have it by then though...maybe

on the bright side..

i have an interview at sandy creek nature center tomorrow for the summer intern job

jess and i will probably be living at college park this summer

i get to go home

which "monty python and the holy grail" character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

*frowns* im the guy who digs in the muck....

ive got a paper to write, which i probably why im writing in my journal for once.

i cant wait til the 29th! lindsey and i are going to go see ani difranco *bounces*

i got chris to turn in my application to sandy creek nature center today..i hope i get the job..wich me luck!

oh yeah and if i do have to stay at berry next year, i now have a place to live...one of the girls i work with has a 3 bedroom house and they need another roomate...hopefully i wont have to make use of that offer though...i just have to get a 3.0...

i love you all...i think ill get started on that paper now...and yes i know this was very random

Hi. Yes, I am still alive (barely).

I've got a week and a half to bring my grades up to a 3.0. If I don't do it I'm basically screwed. I won't get into UGA without a 3.0, but I haven't done a damn thing about registering for classes/getting a dorm room for next year here. Besides the fact that I think I would die if I had to spend another year here. I think I can do it though (I hope). I guess we'll see in two weeks.

I have got to find a way to get the money to go to Ani. Lindsey and I both really need to get those damn tickets, because who knows when she'll be touring next.

I'm doing research for a project and I've found some really depressing things. You know college educated women earn $14,650 less a year than a guy with the same amount of education. that sucks! Oh...and a college educated black woman makes only $1500 more than a male high school graduate. that also sucks. very depressing.

At the moment I'm waiting for Chris to get done piddling around in Atlanta and come get me. I'm so glad that I only have a few more weeks of beign so far away from him. It's hard, but not for much longer...assuming, of course, that I get into UGA.
On a related note - I'm also very glad that Sara finally found someone really great. *grins* Now I can laugh at her for getting mad at me for never being around when Chris and I started going out. :P oh yeah, and: Alex r0x0rz :D

I cant wait for this summer when I can see everybody again. There are so many people that I havent been able to see in the longest time (Rachel, Jen, Brannon, Vince, Sarah T. and uh..some other people I'm sure...if I didn't mention you and I don't see you every weekend, I miss you too *grins*)

You know, I thought I wasn't going to get along with my roomate, but I am going to miss her so much when I leave. We get along really well. We're not best friends or anything, but still I'd say we're close. Oh, and she actually has really good taste in music, I thought I was going to be subjected to all Christian music the whole year, but it's more like MxPx, Dashboard Confessional, and erm lots o good stuff.

ok I'm sure by this point everyone has stopped reading. *giggles* oh well.

oh yeah almost forgot! GUFF PLAYED IN ROME LAST WEEK.....AND NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME! Jay is so dead. :P

k, bye

http://lills.friendtest.com

Take it now!

<td>

This quiz says absolutely nothing about your personality. Take it! </td>

oh yeah and did i mention that i have to make $500 very very soon in order to get my car fixed? my speedometer has been broken for about 6 or 7 months now and now my brakes are starting to suck. i sort of went looking for a second job today...i didnt look very hard though.

i have a paper due, well, last thursday but im doing it now (or not doing it now...whatever)

i also took a test and found out that im probably ADHD. hehe not that i didnt know that already. can you tell?

alright so the plan for next year was to get a room with sara at the dorms, right? well i called the housing department today and basically they told me that there was no way to do it. they said our best bet would be to both go potluck in the same dorm and then see if one of our roomates would mind switching. bah.
this sucks. if i had other female friends i would get an apartment or something. but i have about 2 female friends who are going to uga...and both of them want to live in the dorms. besides the fact that i really wanted to live with sara. and no i cant live by myself *shudders* i get freaked out enough being in a house by myself.
any suggestions?

ok wow i havent updated in a while. I decided not to use deadjournal after all. *shrugs* but LJ is doing soemthing very strange...i dont think ive ever seen it do this before. i went to my friends page and saw that there were several new entries, start reading up and i click on a link to a comments button. then when i hit the back button it goes back to my friends page...only not all the entries are there! so i never got to read a few of them even though i clicked refresh several more times....quite aggravating.
sara and rachel are coming up here tomorrow to get their christmas presents...we're getting them pierced! i will not trust them to anyone but mama max (the woman who owns beyond your ears here in rome.) then on saturday jessica and I have tickets to the JLC concert in atlanta! it was our christmas present from angel and lacey. i knew that they were getting one for jessi, but i didnt know i was part of the plan too. so this weekend should be fun. i just finished writing 2 4 page essays though and ive gotta finsih up another one tomorrow in the hour i have between classes at 9. i only have 2 exams next week though so i should be back home by tuesday! i wont be "home" exactly yet though..ill tell my parents im coming back on thursday or friday. *grins* i cant take living at home anymore.
so yesterday (wednesday) was my 6 month anniversary with chris. he usually has classes on wednesday, but he didnt this week...he didnt tell me that. he told me he was going to have to go to class. on tuesday he told me he was going to get some roses to me somehow because i had caught on to the plotting that he and jessica were doing. instead, he came up here, brought six roses, and a new hoodie for me. hes so good to me. i love him so much! *sighs of happiness* anyway...goodniht all *hug*

http://www.deadjournal.com/users/lills

thats me! i may still update on here if its not so slow...but for now LJ is being a big biatch

only problem with deadjournal is that it has little ad type things at the top...other than that its exactly like LJ...only faster

I am 24% EMO.

Anti-Emo Okay... so I'm not emo at all.. I am probably not even goth, because goths are just messed up emo kids... I am probably a metal head... or into boy bands... Take the EMO Test at Fuali.com!

HAW!

I am 32% Grunge.

What's this? The longest I've been without a shower is three days? Not even close, man. I should go sit out in the rain for a week. Take the Grunge Test at Fuali.com!

I am 47% Raver.

Well, I have been to a rave. I probably know a bunch of ravers, but they may think of me as an outsider. That's okay, at least I am not a complete freak. Take the RAVER Test at Fuali.com!

boredom does horrible things to people

direct quote from my RA's board: "Sigma Delta Delta Delta: It's time to make cookies....for boys!"
*gasp* for boys?? really??? *rolls eyes* why do i feel like im 13 again?

note: it disturbs me when a christian song that my roomate is listening to sounds like TooL. i mean...what the fuck??

i hate this. i feel like i dont even know the people who are closest to me anymore.

fuck it.

why bother trying?

oh yeah...and my hair is red....i guess it looks good..i dont really know, but everyone tells me it looks good... *shrugs*